Year-in-Review
Sophomore Year
Growing pains is the phrase I would use to describe my second year of college. My first year consisted of me navigating and setting my feet here at UC. I was quiet, shy, reserved and still scared of rejection. Don’t get me wrong I still have those traits, but I no longer turn a blind eye to opportunities I see fit for me. I feared what I needed the most, building community and finding my place at UC. I held back on joining clubs/organizations, talking to strangers, making friends, going out on my own, and building connections with professors. The disease of perfection is what led me to isolation. The need of zero anxiety, chaos and uncertainty is what takes away the fun, learned lessons and memories needed in life. So, the summer before school started this year, I decided to make a change as I headed into my second year at UC. I went into the year with a learner mindset on taking opportunities. I started telling myself it’s fine to not always be perfect and validated by those around you. Instead of hesitating on attending new club meetings or holding back my tongue on speaking to new potential friends I just did it. This has led me to become a more confident version of myself. Though perfectionism may be a good thing it can damage one’s growth towards achieving higher success. There were times this year where I wanted to resort back to my old ways of isolation, but I reminded myself what little growth it did for me. For instance, I joined a club called BAC (Black Arts Collaborative). BAC consists of different groups of performing arts; dance, music, poetry/spoken word and visual. I was a member of the poetry department, and it was the first step towards expanding myself onto the campus of UC.
I joined the poetry department of BAC to help my skills as poet and meet likeminded people. I learned how to actually perform poetry for the first and it wasn’t easy. As easy as it may look, performing poetry takes skills. It’s easy to over perform your work and miss the meaning of the art. You need to have a cadence and the right tone in your voice so that the words move the audience. Throughout my time in BAC, I got the chance to perform a poem of mine for a fall showcase. I had one poem I had written specifically for the theme which was masquerade it was going all good and until rehearsals started. I was told my piece, and my delivery were not connecting. I tried to better my delivery, but it was working, resulting in me changing my poem the day before the showcase. I just wanted to drop out the showcase, but I decided not to. This is because I have always wanted to share my art to others and to begin making a name for myself to my peers on campus. A major thing that helped me build resilience was having that community that I needed. Having friends, mentors and professors that actually care about my success and is patient with me really was my saving grace. Whenever I feel myself getting overwhelmed, I talk to one of my close friends to feel less alone. This year I have also went to the AACRC to have moments to just talk about what’s going on in my life, both highs and lows. I have been shown what it feels to be cared about and finally feel a sense of belonging.
